On Presence: Lessons of a Road Trip
The other day, I was on a 10-hour road trip with my son on our way to his freshman year of college. He intends to major in philosophy, so I brought a book I recently rediscovered on my shelf to share while I had a captive audience.
The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts was written in 1951, but it reads as a handbook to manage the insanity of the modern world. While I was behind the wheel, I asked him to open the book and read aloud any passage he landed on.
The name of the chapter was entitled “On Being Aware”.
A Timely Reminder
“…We do not need action – yet… We need more light. Light, here, means awareness – to be aware of life, of experience as it is at this moment, without any judgments or ideas about it. In other words, you have to see and feel what you are experiencing as it is, and not as it is named. This very simple ‘opening of the eyes’ brings about the most extraordinary transformation of understanding and living…”
There are so many ironies illuminated by this story — the greatest being that I had my laptop open on my lap for hours while I was in the passenger seat, trying to write an article on… presence!
No better advertisement for presence than that little real-life story. John Lennon said it so well in his song Beautiful Boy, written for his son, Sean – “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
The dharma of a road trip!
Magic All Around Us
Magic is all around us, all the time. We’ve just become desensitized to it.
Think about our ancient ancestors: awareness wasn’t something they had to “practice.” It was their way of life. They noticed insect hatches to know when fish would be plentiful.
They tracked weather patterns for shelter, followed the stars for planting and harvest, tuned into animal behavior for safety, and paid attention to scents signaling birth or illness.
This awareness wasn’t work. It was simply how they moved through the world.
Listening, seeing, hearing, noticing, feeling.
Our senses are portals.
What Happens When We Miss It
I’ll always wish I had been more present to notice that my newly moved-in neighbors — whom I hadn’t yet met — had a family member dying and were being supported by hospice care.
Even though I was just next door, I didn’t step outside my own daily drama to notice the patterns of lights on and off, cars coming and going (and staying), snow removal or not, garbage cans on the curb, etc. I missed it all.
I could have provided support, a meal, an ear, or grocery shopping. But I didn’t.
In ancient times, everyone would have known about a death or illness in the village within hours, not because of technology, but because of presence.
Where We Place Our Attention
When my senses were tuned into that moment with my son, magic revealed itself in Alan Watts’ words. When my attention was hijacked, my neighbor’s profound experience simply didn’t exist.
The flow of news and notifications is designed to shape our sense of reality. But when we use our senses, a completely different world reveals itself.
As Alan Watts said: We need more light. It’s all around us. We just need to be present enough to let awareness shape our reality.
The kismet of my son finding that chapter while I was distracted by my laptop, the reality I missed happening next door while absorbed in my own drama — these aren’t merely coincidences.
Attention is powerful: what you focus on becomes your reality.
Warmly,
Dr. Krista
Olive Says:
Humans make everything so complicated!
When I’m sunning myself on the deck, I smell the neighbors’ BBQ three doors down and know if they’re grilling ribs or chicken.
When food hits the kitchen floor, I hear it before you even know you’ve dropped it.
You humans are always looking at those glowing rectangles instead of using the amazing senses you were born with.
Try being more like a dog for a day (or an hour!) to see what magic you’ve been missing!